You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
