My underwear smells like fireworks.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
