he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My vagina is officially offended.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
