Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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