i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
