no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i dont even know how to be here
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
