DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
