check it out our google latitudes are spooning
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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