i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
