If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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