I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
