As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
