Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
