hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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