please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
