My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
