That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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