somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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