All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
