I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
