I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
