Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
