It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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