I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
