KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
