Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
