8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
