Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
