she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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