im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
