Girls should come with a carfax report
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
