I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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