Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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