Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
