If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just google imaged poop.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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