Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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