Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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