Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
