I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
