I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
