addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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