considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
