I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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