it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
