Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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