AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
