I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
