Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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