Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize