Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
