woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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