you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dick very happy bro
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
