fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
