I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize