I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
