she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
