The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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