Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
