i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
