We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
