I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
