i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
